Be Kind
According to my Squarespace analytics app, I realized I have a large following so I think this is the right time to open up a topic that I’ve been always wanting to write about.
If I had to pick one learning experience I got out of my infertility journey, I would have to say I learned how to be more kind and patient to others.
I use to have this, “if you’re mean to me, I’ll be mean to you” attitude, but I’ve learned that I’m not getting anything out of it except a bad day and maybe some chest pain. So I learned to let things go. There is always a reason why people act some type of way. Back in the early 2000’s I was mean because I hated the direction my life was going. I was so unhealthy. I’m a really short person. I’m 4’10 and the heaviest number I’ve seen on the scale was 175. Wake the fuck up Darlene! Continuing to go this route my life would have been cut short. I had this shitty ass job at a chiropractic office . I had a boss who would NEVER let me have time off, worked weekends without getting paid, worked there for 6 years without a single raise, and my boss would be sleeping around with his patients when he had a wife and 2 kids at home. I felt like I had no way out.
I was in such a bad place in my life that my husband (he was my boyfriend at the time) gave me an ultimatum to find a new job within 2 months or else our relationship would end. I found a new job in a week. I have to tell you my life turned around completely!
The lesson I’m getting here is that the way someone acts towards you, you have no idea what they are going through. My infertility issue opened my eyes. Recently I was on the receiving end. About 2 weeks ago, my husband and I took Peanut to Embarcadero so we both can get our steps in because my dog and I are both overweight. I do have a stroller for her because her little legs cannot walk the amount of miles that my husband and I could walk. After she walked about 5 miles she was completely tired. I put her in the stroller so Chris and I could continue to walk. We passed by this older couple. I heard her tell her husband to look to the left where Chris and I were walking, he looked at the stroller and had this pathetic type of laugh. I ignored it, but you can tell I was feeling a bit bummed. My husband was so kind enough to say, “it’s ok, they don’t know what we’re going through.”
People who have an ESA often get judged because we are misunderstood. I don’t have a child of my own but Peanut fills that void. Otherwise, I would be a complete wreck. Most people don’t talk about their thoughts and feelings like I do so they continue to get mind fucked by people who completely do not understand. Sure, seeing a dog in a stroller kind of looks silly, but we have to think about the joy that dog brings to their owner. Some of us aren’t blessed with kids of our own, so we do whatever we can to make us feel complete.
I’m lucky enough to say that I have family who support me. I have family who treat peanut like she was my real human baby. She gets presents during Christmas time and on her birthday from my nieces and nephews and a couple of my aunts would slip me an envelope that would have Peanuts name on it with some cash. Without their support and prayers, I don’t think I would have handled this very well.
Bottom line, the next time you want to start judging someone or even start talking shit. Look at your own life first. Everyone is going through something. If feels better being kind and making someone’s day. We already live in a fucked up world. Be the change.
On another note, a big thank you to everyone who bought our products on Amazon. We were lucky to have 2 Instagram influencers supporting us. Thank you Paige Hathaway (IG : paigehathaway 4.1 million IG Followers) and Lauren Drain Kagan (laurendrainfit 3.9 million IG followers) Also, the family of NFL Star Nick Boyle who plays for the Baltimore Ravens. Thank you for your support!
