Half Way There! — THE MAC'S ARE HERE

It’s been 23 days since my first BC pill and 13 days since my first injection. It’s starting to get easier day by day. I am less than half way from my retrieval date!

I do have an amazing support system who is standing by me rooting me on, which I think is so important.

My husband is so amazing. Considering his field, he was so nervous thinking he was going to be administering my injections to me. I’m not sure if it’s because he has a personal relationship with me, but I decided to save him some stress and learn how to do them on my own. However, every night at 7:30pm, he’s there taking pictures to document this journey or he stands next to me holding Peanut and asking her “what is Mama doing?” He even saves me so much stress by telling me to cancel my commuter benefits at work so I don’t have to take BART. He goes out of his way to drop me off and pick me up.

When my husband is working and can not take the day off, my parents offer to take me to my appointments so I don’t have to go alone. They have done so much for me even before this IVF journey. I had an appointment at 7:30am all the way in San Jose. They left their home at 4:30am to be at my place at 5am so we can beat the traffic and of course stop by Starbucks on the way! Plus, my mom woke up at 3am to make my favorite Filipino foods! YUM! They even brought Peanut because they feel as if she’s their granddaughter. They make my appointments easier for me.

My Parents and Peanut at one of my appointments.

Friends, family, and cousins.. You all are amazing. From random text messages just to tell me you’re thinking of me or even asking how I’m doing. That means a lot! Even taking the time to ask about my journey when we see each other. The thing I love most is that we don’t even have to say a thing to each other, but a hug says it all. You guys understand how much anxiety I get scrolling through my IG feed so you don’t take it personally when I don’t “Like” your posts because I don’t seem them. You just know and understand that seeing pregnancy announcements KILL my soul because I may not be able to experience anything like that.

For my new IG friends who I have never met, but we DM/Comment often. Thank you so much for your kindness and positivity. We are all experiencing the same thing so no one can feel the pain and sadness that we go through. Being a mom should be a woman’s dream, but we are all waiting for our dream to come true.

I’ve done other treatments in the past, but Chris and I decided not to tell anyone about it. I’ve felt alone during those times and even cry to myself because I felt like I didn’t have anyone. Negative pregnancy tests over and over again was so overwhelming. When I did get a positive test, it would end up in a miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy.

All your kindness means a lot. I do have high hopes for this. I’m so positive this will work because I’m seeing the best doctors who say my lab results are better than normal. I have an amazing support system who I know will pick me up if I fall. I trust in God. I’m hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

For those of you who are expecting a little blessing or know someone who is. Give them a little gift from Smiling Pea. I know the CEO, her name is Peanut.