Bye Bye First Trimester
I want to bow down to all the mamas out there because pregnancy life is not easy. Speaking for myself, I have a constant fear about my baby. From my previous experiences with pregnancy, my brain does not allow me to enjoy my pregnancy worry free. I’m always thinking history is going to repeat its self. However, I always think that God won’t let that happen this time. He is the only person that knows what I was truly feeling. The last 3 years I lived in depression, it’s an illness that is invisible to all. I would cry to myself when no one was around. I was really good at hiding my feelings that my husband had no idea. During the last 3 years, I put on 30 pounds. My love for running had completely halted because I was so fucking mad at the world for allowing me get pregnant during Olympic trials, but losing the twins a month and a half later. I didn’t get to achieve my dream as an Olympian and I didn’t get to achieve my dream as a mom. Double fucking whammy!
Now that I am in my second trimester, my constant fear has been slowly subsiding. I’m starting to enjoy my pregnancy. My depression is almost nonexistent and I can finally talk to people about it! Also, during the past two weeks I have graduated twice!
My IVF doctors from Stanford cleared me to see my regular obstetrician because my high risk pregnancy has turned to a lower risk pregnancy. The risk of miscarriage is less than 5%.
I am no longer in my first trimester stage, I have officially started my second trimester.
Out of all my pregnancies, this is the farthest I have ever gone. I can say all the shit my husband and I been through was extremely worth is and I would not have it any other way. All the people I have met along this journey are so incredible and supportive. This journey has reconnected me to people I have went to high school with and supported me along the way.
Okay, let’s talk about my first trimester and how it was so brutal to me. Starting my 5th week I was so tired all the time. After work, I went straight to bed to take a nap. I would wake up for about an hour or two and I would end up feeling exhausted! Since my husband quit his job during this time, he made sure he kept the house in order so I didn’t have to worry about it when I woke up.
Spotting - I had spotting daily from week 6 to 9. Those were the weeks that gave me the worst anxiety. I already felt like I was going to have another miscarriage. I left messages on the patient portal, however the nurses told me that I had to wait until my ultrasound at 9 weeks. The wait was intense. During the long wait, I swear I googled every day to find answers. All the articles I’ve read said different shit. I was going crazy. From my previous pregnancy, I was spotting because I was miscarrying. During this pregnancy, I spotted for almost 4 weeks. I was scared. From what I learned spotting is common in pregnancy as well. Spotting finally stopped at week 9, however I’m still observing the toilet paper every time I wipe every single time. I guess I might be a little obsessive compulsive in that area of my life.
Food Aversions - During my 7th week, I had this metallic taste in my mouth. Everything I ate tasted like coins. It was disgusting. I remember making my favorite, Velveeta Mac&Cheese and it was so nasty to me. Now every time I see the yellow box at the grocery store, I start to gag.
Nausea and vomiting - I haven’t had much vomiting, but my nausea was so bad I hardly ate. I had to force feed myself because I wanted to make sure my baby was fed as well. During the first trimester, I actually lost weight. However, I took my prenatal vitamins every morning and drank about a gallon of water a day! My cousin was right, she said she felt car sick all the time during her first trimester and that’s exactly how I felt too.
Speaking of drinking a gallon of water a day, I also had frequent urination. I felt like I was going pee every 20 minutes. I’ve read in the pregnancy books I have, it is very important to stay hydrated!
HOT HOT HOT! I’ve been so hot that I wanted to live wearing just my bathing suit. Oh wait.. I actually did.
Even though the pregnancy symptoms were so bad, it kept me positive. I’ve read that in some cases, when your pregnancy symptoms start to disappear, it often is because you are no longer pregnant and you are losing the baby. I had to keep that in mind.
Things I craved during my first trimester : Salt and Vinegar Pork Rinds, Chicken and Garlic Pizza from Papa Murphys, and Taco Bell. I know it’s not the healthiest, but I only allowed myself to eat those thing during rare occasions.
How much weight did I gain during my first trimester : 0. I actually lost 3 pounds. Thinking about food made me want to vomit.
Well I’m excited to see what is in store during my second trimester. Any mamas with any helpful tips, I would greatly appreciate it!
